What is an obituary, exactly?

An obituary is a written announcement of someone's death, paired with a short account of their life. That's the technical definition. The human one is a bit messier — it's the thing you write when you're already exhausted, when the last thing you want to do is stare at a blank page, and when words feel embarrassingly small.

Most obituaries do two things. They tell people that someone has died, and when and where services will be held. And they tell people who that person was — not just their job title or their birth date, but something real about them. The hobbies they were obsessed with. The way they laughed. The fact that they made the best pie at every family gathering for 40 years straight.

It's different from a eulogy, which is a spoken tribute usually delivered at the service. An obituary lives in print or online, and tends to be shorter and more factual — though "factual" doesn't mean cold. The best ones are warm, personal, and feel like the person they're describing.

Quick note Once you've written the obituary, a lot of families also create an online memorial page where photos, memories, and RSVPs all live in one place. It's a good companion to a printed obit.

What to include in an obituary

Here's the thing — there's no official rulebook. No one is grading you. But there are a handful of things most obituaries include, and knowing them ahead of time makes the writing a lot less daunting.

The essentials (don't skip these)

  • Full name — and any nickname they were actually known by
  • Age at time of death
  • Date of passing (and location, if relevant)
  • Where they lived most recently
  • Surviving family members — spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings
  • Predeceased family members — "preceded in death by" is the traditional phrasing
  • Funeral or memorial service details — date, time, location

The good stuff (add what feels right)

  • Career highlights or places they worked
  • Education and military service
  • Hobbies, passions, and interests
  • Organizations or community involvement
  • A short personal story or memory that captures who they were
  • A favorite quote or saying of theirs
  • Donation requests in lieu of flowers
Should you mention cause of death? Completely optional. Some families include it, some don't. "After a long illness," "unexpectedly," or "peacefully at home" are all common ways to acknowledge it without going into detail. There's no right or wrong here — follow what feels respectful for your family.

How to write an obituary, step by step

Before you write a single sentence, gather the information. It sounds obvious, but sitting down to write without the details in front of you is a recipe for frustration. Give yourself 20 minutes to collect what you need — dates, names, spellings — from family members if necessary.

1

Start with the death announcement

Lead with the person's full name, age, and when they passed. This is how most obituaries open, and it helps readers immediately understand the context. Traditional phrasing sounds like: "[Full name], age [X], of [City], passed away on [date]." Keep it simple. This isn't the place to be fancy.

2

Give the biographical basics

Where were they born? Who were their parents? Where did they go to school, and what did they do for work? Did they serve in the military? You don't need every fact — just the ones that meant something. A sentence or two is fine. Think of it as the "here's who this person was in the world" section.

3

Bring in some personality

This is the part most people skip because it feels harder to write. Don't skip it. What did they love? What were they known for? Did they never miss a grandkid's soccer game? Were they the person everyone called when they needed help moving? One or two specific details will make the obituary feel human rather than like a form someone filled out. Grammarly's obituary guide puts it well — ask yourself what you'll miss most, and start there.

4

List the surviving family

Name the immediate family members who survive them — spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and their spouses if you'd like. Use first names and relationships. "She is survived by her husband of 47 years, Tom, her three children, and six grandchildren." Then list those who preceded them in death, if applicable.

5

Include service details

Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service. If there's a visitation or calling hours, include that too. If the service is private, you can simply write "a private service will be held." If you're collecting RSVPs, an online memorial page with RSVP functionality keeps everything organized in one place.

6

Close with a donation note (optional)

If the family prefers donations to flowers, name the charity and include a way to give. "In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [charity name] at [website]." Short, simple, respectful.

7

Read it out loud before you finalize

Seriously. Reading it out loud catches awkward phrasing you'd never notice on a screen. It also helps you feel whether the tone is right. If it sounds stiff and strange when spoken, it'll read that way too. Get a family member to read it with you — they may remember something important you left out.

A simple obituary template to copy

Here's a straightforward obituary template you can fill in and adapt. Don't feel locked into this structure — rearrange it, add to it, make it theirs. Think of it as a starting point, not a finished product.

Obituary Template

[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully / unexpectedly / after a long illness] on [date].

[First name] was born on [date] in [city] to [parents' names]. [He/She/They] attended [school] and later [career highlights, military service, or other major life events].

Known for [a defining personality trait or something they were famous for among family and friends], [first name] had a deep love for [hobbies, interests, or passions]. [Optional: a brief personal story or memory — even one sentence makes a difference].

[First name] is survived by [spouse's name and relationship], [children's names], [grandchildren, if applicable], and [siblings or other close family]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names and relationships].

A [funeral / memorial service / celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. [Optional: visitation details].

In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests donations to [charity name] at [website or address].

Short obituary examples

Sometimes you just need to see how one actually reads. Here are a few short obituary examples in different styles — one traditional, one warm and personal, and one brief.

Traditional style

Example

Robert James Callahan, 81, of Springfield, Illinois, passed away peacefully on March 14, 2025, surrounded by his family. Born June 2, 1943, to James and Dorothy Callahan, he spent 35 years as a high school history teacher before retiring in 2008. Robert is survived by his wife of 57 years, Carol; his two sons, Daniel and Mark; and four grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Thomas. A memorial service will be held Saturday, March 22, at 11:00 a.m. at St. Paul's Lutheran Church, Springfield. In lieu of flowers, donations to the Lincoln Land Community College scholarship fund are welcome.

Warm and personal style

Example

Eleanor Mae Hutchins, 74, of Portland, Oregon, left this world on April 3, 2025, the same way she lived in it — quietly, gracefully, and with everyone she loved nearby. Eleanor was the kind of person who remembered every birthday, kept homemade jam in the cupboard at all times, and somehow always knew when you needed a phone call. She worked as a school librarian for 30 years and believed, deeply, that the right book could change a life. She is survived by her husband, Gerald; her daughters, Lisa and Karen; and seven grandchildren who will forever use her as the gold standard for what a grandmother should be. Services will be held privately. The family will host a celebration of life in June — details to follow.

Short and simple style

Example

Margaret Ann Torres, 68, beloved mother and grandmother, passed away on February 19, 2025. She is survived by her three children and eight grandchildren, who were the joy of her life. A private service will be held with family. A public celebration of her life is planned for spring.

Notice how the short one still works. You don't need 500 words to honor someone. You need the right words — whatever number that turns out to be.

Want to give the obituary a permanent home online?

An Eternal Obituary memorial page lets family and friends share photos, leave memories, and RSVP to services — all from one beautifully designed page.

Create a memorial page →

Tone, length, and what not to include

How long should an obituary be?

For a newspaper, most obituaries run 200 to 300 words. Some papers charge by the word or line, so length has a direct effect on cost. If you're submitting to print, find out the word limit and pricing before you write — it'll save you from having to trim something that felt finished.

For an online obituary, there's no length restriction. You can write as much or as little as feels right. Beyond the Dash suggests that most people reading an online tribute expect to be done within 5 to 10 minutes — which puts you around 1,000 to 1,500 words max if you go long. A shorter, well-written tribute is almost always better than a long one that rambles.

Getting the tone right

Aim for warm and human over formal and stiff. You're writing for people who loved this person — they don't need impressive vocabulary, they need to feel like you understood who they were. Some families include humor, especially if the person had a big personality. That's fine. Others keep it more reserved. Follow what feels true to the person, not what you think an obituary "should" sound like.

One practical tip: write a draft, then step away for a few hours. When you come back to it, you'll catch things you couldn't see when you were deep in it.

What not to include

  • Family drama, estrangements, or complicated relationships (not the place)
  • Financial details or estate information
  • Anything the deceased would have strongly objected to being made public
  • Information that could embarrass surviving family members
  • Excessive filler phrases — "words cannot express" and "gone too soon" have been used so many times they've lost meaning

Where to publish an obituary

You have more options than you might think, and they're not mutually exclusive.

Local newspaper

The traditional route. Most papers have an online submission process through their classifieds or obituary section. Prices vary widely — expect anywhere from $50 to several hundred dollars depending on length, the publication's size, and whether you include a photo. A shorter print notice paired with a fuller online version is a smart way to manage costs.

Funeral home website

Most funeral homes publish an obituary on their website as part of their service package. This is usually included at no extra charge. Ask your funeral director about it early in the process.

Online memorial page

An online memorial page lets you go further than a traditional obituary. No word limits, unlimited photos, a memory wall where family and friends can share stories, and RSVP functionality for the service. It also gives the family a permanent place to return to — on anniversaries, birthdays, or whenever they want to feel close to someone they've lost. You can browse memorial page designs here to see what's possible.

Social media

Many families share an obituary directly on Facebook or through a private group. It's informal, but it reaches people quickly and allows immediate responses. A link to an online memorial page works well alongside this — it gives people somewhere to go once they've seen the post.

People also ask

How long should an obituary be?
For print, aim for 200–300 words. Online, there's no limit — write as much as feels right, though most people aim to finish reading within 5–10 minutes, which is roughly 500–1,500 words. Quality over quantity always wins.
Who writes an obituary?
Usually a close family member — a spouse, adult child, or sibling. Sometimes multiple people contribute. Funeral directors can also help with drafting, and some families hire a professional obituary writing service if they want outside support.
What's the difference between an obituary and a eulogy?
An obituary is written and published — in a newspaper, online, or both. A eulogy is spoken, typically at the funeral or memorial service. They often overlap in content, but an obituary tends to be shorter and more factual, while a eulogy can be longer and more personal.
Should I mention cause of death?
It's entirely optional. Many families use phrases like "after a long illness," "unexpectedly," or "peacefully at home." Others include a specific cause. Follow what feels right for your family — there's no obligation either way.
Can you write your own obituary in advance?
Yes, and many people find it meaningful to do so. Writing your own obituary gives you control over how you're remembered, and it relieves your family of a difficult task during an already hard time. Some people write one as a reflective exercise even with no intention of using it soon.
How much does it cost to publish an obituary?
Newspaper obituaries typically range from $50 to $300+ for a local paper, and more for national outlets — pricing is usually per word, line, or column inch. Online obituary platforms vary from free (with limitations) to modest monthly or one-time fees. An online memorial page at Eternal Obituary starts at $8/month or $95 as a one-time payment, with no extra charges for visitors.
What if I can't find the right words?
Start with the facts — name, dates, family. Then add one specific memory or trait that captures who they were. You don't need perfect sentences; you need honest ones. If you're completely stuck, ask another family member to write a first draft, or use an AI obituary writing tool as a starting point and then personalize from there.

Writing an obituary won't feel easy. But it doesn't have to feel impossible. Start with what you know, add what mattered, and let the person come through. That's all an obituary really needs to do.

If you want to give their story a longer, more permanent home — one with photos, memories from family and friends, and a place people can return to — Eternal Obituary makes it simple to set one up in about five minutes. You can browse memorial designs here, or take a look at the FAQ if you have questions.